Then I shook myself off and woke out of "sleep". That friend discouraged it becoz she was speaking only for her selfish self. At the end of the day, she didn't listen to her friend or anyone for that matter.
Her friends whispering in her ear was a non-issue, because she had too much life experience to disregard what was told. And you didn't answer my question. Originally Posted by seeniorita. I would not have a problem with it as long as the person was responsible about their situation.
Someone in the advanced stages of cancer or some other terminal illness would be difficult because it would be so traumatic to get attached to someone who you know is going to die soon. Good health is precious. It's often taken for granted. I would date someone with a "pre-existing condition," as it were, and I'd stick by someone who developed a condition through no fault of his own while we were together as long as I loved him, that is.
But I would not date someone who, by smoking, living a sedentary lifestyle, eating poorly, and not taking care of himself, is asking to get sick. That's not the lifestyle I lead, and in all honesty, if you don't love yourself enough to take care of yourself now, why should someone else love you enough to accept the possibility of having to take care of you later? Last edited by Yzette; at Illness can strike anyone, at any time.
I know -- I have Lupus, diagnosed 6 years ago in the prime of my life. Until my docs found the right medications that worked for me, I was a mess and wouldn't even think of dating. Believe it or not, there are always those rescuer types who "need to be needed" and will still pursue a person who has a health crisis.
But now that everything is much more stable and I know how to manage it, I'm starting to date again. If you think my illness is a sacrifice for you, then think about someone other than yourself for a minute and realize what it is for me. I may be different, but nobody pays much attention to the moth that blends in with the crowd. Please, have patience while we sort through everything happening in our bodies before we return a romantic gesture. What do you think anyone about to go on a date with someone with chronic illness should know?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about. Please click here if you are not redirected within a few seconds. You can also browse from over health conditions. Been ill for many years, chronic pain, and always broke. There is not one single person in my personal life who cares two cents about me, so once the kids are grown, which is soon, I want to get a house out in the woods in the middle of no where and just he alone.
The hurt, every day, is too painful to bear, so why try. Not someone like me. So, being a hermit at the moment is my only goal. And for those who reply back and say.. For those who have found someone, must have money then.
People only want to be around me if I help them. If I need help, they run. Unless I pay them. I wish you well, and will be happy to lend a listening ear online, if you need. This is a good thing to think about for everyone. Hi Mandy, yes very true.
It stings when you realise a partner will only stick with you when things are going well. You all just covered so many fears that have been restricting me from even allowing a relationdhip since knowing my illness..
Since my own diagnosis of kidney disease at the age of 35, dating has been tortuous and has yielded no results. As a 50 year old man struggling to make a sincere connection in a large cosmopolitan city like Toronto, I am often confronted with women who seem more intent on finding a partner that meets their list of expectations. That is a shopping list of qualifications for Mr. Honestly, this is extremely frustrating and humiliating.
Do I have to adjust my perspective here or am I doomed as a man to suffer quietly? Should I focus on dating women with a disability?
Maybe join a kidney disease support group? I would prefer to socialize with healthy people and not dwell in the world of illness and disease; it tends to be self-absorbing and morose which I am equally guilty of. We can sit here and write about how kindness and compassion needs to be practised, but this culture is not always nice and tends to kick people who are down and out. Should I even keep trying? Why should I bother? Sincerely Getting bitter and angry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.
But I do believe that there is someone for us all out there, and also what goes round comes round. I wish you all the best in your journey, and feel free to keep in touch over social media! Or have sex, or a conversation, or swap jokes, or share a meal, either. Certainly makes life simpler and quieter if nothing else, on the positive side. Even if there is a disturbing lack of choice involved. Hi Bruce, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
Whatever will be will be, and life leads down other interesting paths sometimes! Thank you for sharing this. My wife and I both have had issues with dating prior to our relationship.
There ere a lot of factors that have helped us on our journey together. She and I both were caregiviers to ill relatives prior to our relationship, and we both have physical and mental disabilities that have made ie it difficult in other relationships.
The difference is that we support each other no matter what. So neither of us are able to walk very well, but we are both warriors and fight daily to live our lives to the fullest. Additionally she is bipolar and has anxiety, while I suffer fro severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I handle the household chores and she manages the finances as neither of us are capable of working and we rely on her disability check every month. But we have discovered that we are better together than we ever were apart.
My family thinks the world of her, and her children who are close to my age have always accepted me with open arms, as I am the only husband she has had since her disability who truly treats her with love and respect.
We have decided that we will be married until one of us passes away no matter what. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your personal story with me! Wishing you and those you love a happy and meaningful life ahead! Enjoyed your article so much! Just a little background on me—diagnosed with severe JIA in at the age of 8.
When I met my husband in college, I remember how his mother reacted when we announced our engagement. I overheard her questioning him because of my RA. We married in Ironically, my husband was diagnosed with MS in We have a very loving and strong marriage—we also take care of each other!!!
Additionally she is bipolar and has anxiety, while I suffer fro severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Not being able to date even though we try has definitely affected our marriage. Share on LinkedIn Share. Unless I pay them. For many people struggling with mental health, thoughts can become so crowded and tangled that even they don't know what's necessarily bothering them, so simply listening to them can help in organising their thoughts and making them feel calmer. While we still love going out and having fun like the rest of the people in this world, we get tired easier.
My partner and I have been together since we were 20 and he was diagnosed with MS at He told me to walk away if wanted to but it honestly never crossed my mind. I was very sick myself for a while and he was there every step of the way. He supported me through college and has been my biggest supporter and my rock and i always maintain that my degree is our degree.