I was meeting the same types of guy over and over again. Her survey concluded there were 11 primary categories of men drawn internet dating. Eleven seems to me a rather generous number, but here we go:. The Player- With so many choices, how can he pick just one and why should he? Not the ideal situation, but he was giving me that sexy, Sendhil Ramamurthy vibe. Besides, used to live in DC and had some friends there I wanted to visit.
After a few exchanges, we decide to move off OKCupid and exchanged emails every day for over a week.
Then he sent this email:. I guess all that pressure to be in an exclusive relationship was weighing you down. Even before we got a chance to meet.
My experiences with younger men defy all logic. Maybe his divorce is almost final and he wants you to fill the empty spaces until he feels whole again. His next girlfriend must be beautiful with a brick-house body and give him amazing sex every day. Is that so much to ask? When I was on Match, I noticed one guy who looked at my profile several times without ever sending me a message. We matched on every point of our criteria right down to our favorite movies. He deserves a young hottie because:.
A He makes a lot of money and will spoil you rotten. If he cared about his social life half as much as his abs, he would stop pretending to meet women on the internet. His initial approach may be standard enough and then BAM! He writes something supremely perverted. He can go from zero to fuckboi in 60 seconds or less. Why waste time with niceties? Once I made a lunch date with a guy I met on Zoosk and he called the night before to confirm our plans.
Are these men so offended by the mere thought of seeing a black woman show up in their matches that they need to banish us altogether? Just recently went through this on another site. We dated for two months, spent a lot of good times together, dinners out, movies, nights out with friends, and eventually sex was involved. He told me that I made him very happy etc. Then he started pulling away, less texting, calls stopped, excuses started.
I had a feeling he was lying to me about the excuses its happened before. Seems likes bs to me. Well, I shut down my profile a week after meeting him. He continues to be online at unusual times really late at night or early in the morning. If I make him happy, why look at others? Plus, he said he wanted space? This guy i met online and he said he needed space to get over an ex. Its been 6 weeks no contact.
His profile was still on but he took down his pictures and remained inactive for a month but just yesterday went online and reattached his pictures. Anyway i think its A. Is he trying to test my reaction and call him out on it? Why do guys do this??? I thought he was a genuine nice guy. He told me he loves me and he said he meant it, and would never cheat on me, and I believed it. He constantly went on dating apps to talk to other girls and he confessed to me and told me he cheated on me.
I felt hurt because I thought I knew him and I thought cheating would be the last thing he would to do me. I never thought he would do that to me because of all the words he had said to me about how much he loves me and so on. He said he is serious about me and called me wifey. He brought me to his parents but seem to be quite scared of letting his friends see me.
My boyfriend is very self-centered, which he also admitted. Sometimes I feel like he only cares about himself, pays a lot of attention on himself rather than on me now. I even flew all the way just to get him to talk about this with me because I thought I had to talk about this with him. Since our last huge fight regarding him talking to other girls he said he had deleted the dating apps.
But he would still talk to a few girls he met on okcupid on whatsapp. I asked him why, he said because this girl called Dion had recently been to korea and he just wanted to ask information about traveling to korea. So that obviously was an excuse. Although my trust to him is kind of broken but I still want to trust him again. We talked about this issue almost every night and I told him I feel hurt that he still talks to girls from dating app. Then I asked him if he wants to meet friends then why only talk to pretty slim girls but not guys?
Why only pick pretty girls to talk to to be his new friend? Why does he stil want to meet other pretty girls? After another conflict again his mind changed a bit. I said nothing, because minimizing still means he still gets to talk to them. Although we are ok now but I just feel so helpless.
My friends kept telling me to dump him. But what about me? Why are men like that? Hello, I read ur full story. I think you are the opposite of me although we share sth in common, I am also an observant girl when I am dating online, which is what I am doing now. However, I would do the opposite if I found out the guy I am with is doing all these dating app things behind me.
You have made him feel like you will never leave, and he can always get you back as long as he stops it for a while. What I mean is, dress up and make up urself everyday, keep yourself in the best condition, and go out to meet friends and new guys, and let him see these changes! I donno if you have thought about this?
If you want to make him become obsess with you, you should just go back to the one you were before, the one who attracted this guy to fall in love with you. If the guy looks at your profile, you get a notification. The advice in this article is terrible. His actions are speaking louder than words. He wants something better, or someone else. Since that moment I knew I had to break contact with him since we were not on the same page. I will have to trust his decision, and if I ever feel like my mistrust of him is too big to continue, I will let him know and I will break it off, just like I had intended the first time.
This dating scene nowadays is tough , it is tempting not only to look around for other people because dating websites are just a click away, but snooping is easier as well, and very tempting. I wish you all luck out there, be smart. Why did you let him talk you into staying with him? Your gut instinct was right.
Life is too short to waste on second best relationships. I would rather be single. I my name is susan like to call sue. I need to start looking for a honest guy. Iam 49 year old. Have four grow up children. Was engaged to a man but he been cheating on me, please need to leave and start anew life, i lost myhusband in Now my life is tore up. I wish I could find an article more recent in regards to this topic.
I myself have been dating a guy for a little over a month. Well, curiosity killed the cat, so I created a fake profile and though his was hidden, there are ways to search and find it regardless. I realized he accessed his account and kept mum. I suppose my issue is that his profile IS hidden therefore does not show up in any searches, so why is he accessing his account?
If HE emails someone, they then have access to his profile and it can go from there. SO, why would he go and do something that would make me doubt him. Let alone make me feel like he is keeping me around until he finds something better. You know the answer already. If you were your own best friend, what advice would you give yourself. Your gut instinct is right.
Value yourself and find someone who wants you and no one else. I disagree with the advice in this article. The guy HAS given her a reason to distrust him. He offered exclusivity, yet actively participates in an online dating community. When a person last logged in is public information. How transparent is that. Totally agree with you Moops. Trust is very hard and someone should give you reasons to trust! I agree with you Moops.
I had been dating this guy I met online for 4 months. I told him I was taking down my match account. He said he would also. Not only did he not do that, he joined pof and meet me! I decided to still give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes he really said that! I said he was the one who was searching. Girls, stop the madness! I was honest with myself and realized I was only with him because I was lonely, and it is so hard to meet someone nice, but I was doing myself a disservice. Still trying to find the one…. This very thing happened to me. Wasted an entire year on this man. Gave him the benefit of the doubt in the name of trust and it was a bad decision.
Now I not only wasted a year but have spent six months trying to recover emotionally and am going back into the dating scene with less trust. If he is logging in…… he is looking or communicating and the bottom line is… you will never be able to trust him completely because this will always be in the back of your mind.
A truly excellent reply. This article seems to expose a type of man that is rotten to the core and is capable of using women without any conscience. The whole interaction left me feeling sick to my stomach. I completely agree that if someone is still checking dating sites after committing to someone then they are leaving options open,stroking their ego,or seeing you as for now person Its disrespectful and breaks trust not builds it.
I met someone in my home area on an online dating site. We have gone out 3 times in two weeks, and have several dates already arranged for the coming week. We are both divorced and he has a child almost every weekend, so we typically do not see each other from Friday to Monday night. I took my profile off the site because I believe it leads to hurt feelings and in my little mind, why make him not trust me.
What I did was set up a bogus account and I can see he is on the site each day, even after we have gone out. He is on and off the site daily.
There are times I have been on the phone with him or in the midst of sending a text back and forth when he is on the site. I really want to find out why men do this? If they meet someone and apparently things are going well, so what is up with men who need to see or chat with other women? It was after telling him this that he asked me if I can go out with him on several days for the coming week. So what is up with men you meet online and how they still log in and show chat venue open. I have been going through a similar situation and would really appreciate the feedback on here.
Im 24 yrs old and im very attractive and have never been in a real relationship and crave that part of my life with someone special. I have been on the online dating scene for 3 yrs and have been on sooooooo many dates and havent found anyone who I am remotely interested in until 3 and a half months ago. When it comes to me and dating I think I have the worst luck and i cant even get past the 3rd date with someone so I am always walking on pins and needles each time.
But here is my situation:. He first told me that he wasnt looking for anything super super serious and i said well lets take it slow and see where it leads to. He was always treating me like i was his gf and i met one of his close friends and he took me and my sis and his friend out for dinner. I never had any guy treat me like that. This guy always mentions me to his neighbors and friends but we dont have a label on it.
He also talks about personal stuff with him and his whole family and i really thought we were connecting. I also attempted to lose my virginity to him. I never told him i was a virgin the whole time and then it just came out and he was at first mad but then he understood where i was coming from and i kept asking him if he was ok with me not being experienced and he said he was. But always in the back of my mind it has been bothering me that i am inexperienced because he has been around the block and would leave me for someone who is great in the bedroom.
I am alsooo very very shy around him because i like him sooo much and i feel sooo out of place even when doing stuff in the bedroom. I just cant seem to snap out of being scared and shy when im with him. Recently i just went on match and saw he was active within 24 hrs and im like wtfff. I feel sooo played but i dont wanna jump to conclusions and he hasnt contacted me in 2 days and im feeling like he wants to find someone who is way more experienced than i am.
But the thing is we really connected and I dont think anyone can come close. Its sooo strange cause we started hanging out together times a week recently and he just cant stop staring at me at every moment wen im with him. Im sooo scared to lose this guy and dont know what to think right now. All my friends that I ask think he is playing me and i dont know if i should even listen to anyone because everyone can have their different reasons.
Im really falling for this guy and I never ever pressure him on anything cause i know men dont like to be pressured so i kind of take each day as it comes. Yes, suspicion can destroy a relationship if it is unfounded. But sometimes suspicion is justified. Hana, this guy is looking around while enjoying you and wonderful qualities. Match and eHarmony screen pretty well, and if a guy has an active profile on a site like one of those, it usually and I would say A girlfriend or boyfriend can usually tell it the profile is real in any number of ways — if the profile has exact details about height and weight, the writing style that was used, etc…..
This girl is just going to get hurt.
She should leave the guy ASAP. The majority of these guys that get on these dating sites especially Match never get off. Many of them are not serious and they are addicted to Match and other dating sites. I realized after 4 months of being on Match that this was not the venue to use to meet someone if you are interested in a serious long-term relationship. At some point they are going to get back on.
Women would be better off meeting a guy in a traditional setting through work, a friend, museum, whatever. Syndrome … Newness- Grass is Greener Syndrome.
An addiction to online dating, even if you have a significant other.. Sorry, but I disagree. Before becoming intimate, demand exclusivity, which also means get off of all dating sites — and let him know that you will check periodically to make sure he does. Sorry, but he HAS given this girl a reason to distrust him.
This same thing happened to me — met a guy on eHarmony. Within a month we felt pretty serious about each other and I asked him if we could agree to be exclusive, including unsubscribing to any dating sites. But 4 months later, I found out he was still on eHarmony but told me he was just on there for fun, changing some information but not conversing with anyone. Two months later he was on Match. Two years later I found out he was still filling out profiles.
By then, I was a mess. He had lied for two years and that is a very long time to be with someone. Please move on, for the good of your mind and heart. This article is spot on. It was never because of her, it was simply because the suspicion kept eating away at me until I brought it up. Rather than saying anything, I simply ignore it.
Thank you so much I really needed to see and hear this, and the fact that it came from a man makes it so much more official for me to do exactly as you said and the article said. When dating online it is imperative you remain open and honest. I met a handsome guy on pof. We BOTH made a conscious decision to delete our profiles and be exclusive. I kept feeling this uneasiness about him.
That is a very unsettling way to feel. My boyfriend and I have been going out for more than a year and we met on meet me. He asked me out and we were together ever since. I deleted my account and I asked him to delete him, which he said he did. However, I was feeling something was going on that I did not know about and so I checked his email which i should not have done and I saw some messages that were from meet me. However, it was not from his real account. He had created a fake one. It still has all of his pictures. I logged on to it because he gave me his passwords to things and I figured it was the same one.
He only talks to girls on there; however, there is nothing like they are meeting up or hooking up at all. He will say hey and talk for about five minutes and then the convo is done. I stopped checking his personal accounts and email after we got in a big fight about whether he was cheating on me or not. I never felt right about checking it anyway. I thought it was great because he must have stopped after our convo. However, i checked again today if he had been on, and it said he had three days ago. I am not one to stay in relationships where i am not the main focus, but over a year? That is so many invest feelings.
I have no idea what to do. I av friends who always text me i do reply but not with love, i want to ask wat will i do to love someone, and if you can give me the match. Thanks so much, I really appreciated your comment. Eric, I feel like your post sends out a very sad message to women. You get butterflies and your heart pounds when you see me. You and I have only been dating a short time but the potential is there. We see each other times per week. You ask for exclusivity and I give this to you. A week later you log onto to Match.
So please enlighten me, what does that story look like? We live in different cities but have seen each other almost every weekend except two. This friend since added me on facebook and so has his housemate. He was also kissing me in front of them too. We were on his laptop and I was on youtube. He went downstairs and I was just looking at songs. I managed to close the tab I was on by mistake and when I opened what I thought was the right one I found it was his dating website profile.
However I knew of the website and I was able to see his profile when I got home. He still checks his profile each day but not multiple times per day. Any advice welcome thanks! I understand what this girl is going through.